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:iconkit-blackwood: More from kit-blackwood




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June 30, 2010
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Julian: "We shouldn't be here Kelse."

Kelsey: "Please. How else are we suppos-"

Security Guard: "Who's out there?"

Julian: "I told you."

Kelsey: "Shut up."
  
Security Guard: "I said who's out there."

Kelsey: "Crap."

Julian: "It'll be a cake walk you said. Bullshit Kelse."
     
Kelsey: "Shut up and c'mere."

Security Guard: "Do you two know how much trouble you're in?"

Julian & Kelsey: "Sir?"

Security Guard: "Found in a restricted section of the labyrinth past curfew."

Kelsey: "I-We didn't kno-"

Security Guard: "Let me see your hands."

Security Guard: "Kelsey Montgomery and Julian Bailey, you are to report to the guard station and await your parents."

Security Guard: "Any detours and these sensors will sound an alarm."

Julian & Kelsey: "Yes sir."

Julian: "I told you we shouldn't be down here."
  
Kelsey: "Blah, blah, blah. Let me see your sensor."

Julian: "Don't mess with it."

Kelsey: "C'mon, Julian, don't you wanna know?"

Julian: "I'd rather not get grounded."

Kelsey: "Pfft. We won't get grounded."

Julian: "No, we'll just get arrested for treason."

Kelsey: "Unlikely."

Julian: "How can you be so sure?"

Kelsey: "Cause I am. Are you coming or not?"

Julian: "…Fine."

Kelsey: "Don't sound so unhappy. You're as curious as I am."

Julian: "No, I know someone has to be here to haul your ass out if we get caught."

Kelsey: "How thoughtful."
This is a quick sketch (I say quick because I wrote the dialogue in about ten minutes) of a piece I plan on using for a writing contest that is being put on by the Writer's Digest Magazine. When complete it won't read like a half finished script. For the moment it is in part to help hear the characters voices without the clutter of exposition and also to get the flow of the whole thing.

Also I rather enjoy this form of writing. Its a very loose imitation of minimalism, which was a writing form around the time of Hemmingway. And prescribes to Hemmingway's idea that I only give the reader the tip of the iceberg and the reader has to fill in the detail and action on their own. Some would call that lazy, but how many times has someone been annoyed with how the author approached a certain scene or wrote a certain scene. Now the details aren't straight forward and pre-determined. I find that a much nicer read, personally.

Julian Bailey, Kelsey Montgomery, and Security Guard are property of me, please don't use them or steal them without my permission.
:iconouroborosragnarok:
OuroborosRagnarok Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I like this, and especially your description of it as a sketch. It's hard to tell who's talking without tags, but I think that actually helps a bit. It sets the mood well enough on its own. In fact, I worry about what this'll be like once it's more fleshed out.
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:iconkit-blackwood:
kit-blackwood Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I was just editing this as you read it (since I didn't think to put them in until I was writing the artist comment and apparently I can't edit until after the initial submission) and now I have added character tags for who is speaking. I'm actually worried myself for how it'll look once fleshed out, but I think that's a typical worry. I'm glad you liked it though and thank you for your comments. :)
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:iconouroborosragnarok:
OuroborosRagnarok Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, have you edited it already? I'll take a look, if you don't mind. If I may suggest, maybe a light description of the scenery, character tags, and that's about it. I wouldn't add anything more.
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